The Night Shift

Statistically highly unlikely for a disaster…. or long overdue?

Body: Hey

Brain: Hey what.

Body: What are you doing over there in the corner?

Brain: Just working on an email.

Body: It’s three in the morning, can you come back to bed?

Brain: Yeah. Just give me a minute, I think I’ve got this one figured out.

(Time)

Body: Hey.

Brain: Yeah?

Body: It’s four am now. You got that email worked out?

Brain: I think so, yes. I just can’t send it. No digits.

Body: I’ve got many digits. You want me to get up and send it?

Brain: No, no, no,no. That’s crazy. What will people say getting this email at four in the morning?

Body: I could save it in the Drafts folder and send in the morning…

Brain: No that’s ok. Thanks though. You really ought to get some sleep.

Body: Yeah, no kidding, we’ve got that thing tomorrow.

Brain: Oh God THAT THING! I had totally forgotten about that: Ohhhhh Goddddd…

Body: Breathe. It will be fine

Brain: How do you know it will be fine?!??

Body: We’ve done that thing 500 times before and it is always fine.

Brain: Right. Of course we have. Right. It. Will. Be. Fine. Breathing.

(Pause)

Brain: Wait. Not 500 times! There was that one time! That one time we did that thing and it was a disaster!

Body: That was literally one time. And it was a long time ago.

Brain: You’re right. Statistically highly unlikely to be a disaster.

Body: Correct. Statistically unlikely. Breathe.

Brain: Ok Breathing. Statistically unlikely. Or. Wait. Is it statistically unlikely…or… is it LONG OVERDUE FOR ANOTHER DISASTER?!?!

Body: Are comparing this thing to the San Andreas fault now? The Big One? I knew we shouldn’t have watched the Nature Channel last night. Breathe.

Brain: No you’re right. Breathing.

Body: Good. Come back to bed.

Brain: Ok. And you’ll send that email in the morning?

Body: Promise.

Brain: And this thing tomorrow won’t be “The Big One”?

Body: Nope. Breathe.

Brain: Ok. Thank you.

Body: No problem.

(Pause)

Body: Oh rats.

Brain: What??

Body: Now I’m hungry.